To answer the obvious question: Yes, I did see Tiger Woods. We camped out around the 11th hole yesterday, and we made a point of staying there until Woods played. As much as I have zero use for celebrity worship, I couldn’t come to the Master’s golf tournament and miss seeing him. And trust me, Woods is a massive celebrity, even among this crowd of mostly affluent, Southern, white, middle-aged men.
Woods wasn’t playing particularly impressively at that point in the afternoon. He had racked up a succession of par rounds, even as a legion of lesser talents were smoking past him. But when Woods showed up in the fairway behind us, all heads swiveled away from the mere mortals who were teeing off on the 12th hole back toward Woods, who was doing nothing, just leaning casually against his golf stick and waiting for the group ahead to finish. A whole sea of people — investment bankers, corporate attorneys, building contractors, the business elite — stood up from their seats just to get a better glimpse of the Mighty One.
Woods was cool — relaxed, almost nonchalant, showing no stress at falling three shots off the leadership pace. He played solid golf on the 11th hole, finishing up with another par. He had a chance at scoring a birdie, but he took a long putt that missed the hole by an inch or two. And then he was on to the next hole. No showmanship, no swagger. Very understated, very civilized. Woods, I would suggest, is one of the few celebrities who deserve the idolatry bestowed upon him.
That was my brush with Woods worship. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt with the Master’s logo.
I get to stay in our guest house today, getting some work done, while my father-in-law, an avid golfer, uses my pass. The Master’s is a world-class event, and I’m pleased that I had a chance to witness it. The grounds were immaculate and beautiful. I soaked up impressions of a sub-culture to which I had never been exposed. But I’ll tell you this, as boring as golf is to watch on television, it’s even more excruciating to watch in person. At least the television cuts from player to player — no long waits between “action” sequences. In person, one must endure interminable intervals between golfing groups. Golf makes baseball look like a non-stop, fast-action thriller of a sport. On television, there is no trouble seeing where the golf ball travels. In person, you might be lucky enough to see the ball immediately after it’s hit, but you lose it in the sky and can’t see it again until it plunks down on the ground. Booooring.
But, hey, it would be a dull world if everybody liked the same thing. If people love golf, good for them. I’ve got other things to do with my life. … Like blog.