Where Are The Parents?

Shoe-tying lesson in a Fairfax County school  Photo credit: Washington Post

by Dick Hall-Sizemore

A story in today’s Washington Post enraged me, amused me, and filled me with admiration.

It starts off with a first-grade teacher in Fairfax County. She had expected that her incoming students last fall would be behind in reading and math due to the pandemic. She was surprised that they also could not perform basic tasks such as tying their shoes, cutting along a dotted line with scissors, squeezing a glue bottle to release an appropriately-sized dot, or simply twisting a plastic cap off and on.

My reaction was: WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? Isn’t it enough that you expect the school to teach your kids reading, writing, and arithmetic? You also want the teachers to teach your kids how to tie their shoes and cut along a dotted line? Are these the parents who are demanding that the schools allow parents to be more involved in schools? They need to become more involved in their kids first.

The story goes on to describe how teachers all over the country have had to deal with kids’ social problems arising from having to stay out of school due to COVID restrictions. I can appreciate their situation. However, I could not help being amused by this observation: “Things were especially difficult for incoming first-graders, she said. For these students, who had never before set foot in a school, the concept of walking in a line between classes — while refraining from touching other children nearby — was wholly foreign.”

My thoughts went back many years to when 40+ of us set foot in Mrs. Jones’ first-grade class in Virgilina Elementary School. That was the first day any of us had been in school. I don’t recall any problems learning to line up to go to the cafeteria or the assembly room in another building. I don’t recall a lot of trouble learning to sit still in our seats or learning to raise our hand to speak. (I do remember having to sit in the corner for talking too much to my friends!) Ah, but these are just the reminiscences of an old fart about the good old days.

I was impressed by the creativity, adaptability, and dedication of some of the teachers. One kindergarten teacher in Philadelphia set up a “Reading Buddy” program in which kindergartners are paired up with fifth-graders for a half hour each week to read a book together. Then there is the reading specialist in Fairfax County who set up a mailbox outside her room and promised students that, if they wrote her a letter, she would have a reply for them the next morning. She has kept her promise, although sometimes it meant spending two hours in the evening to respond to all the letters.

Teachers are doing their part. Now parents need to do their part.

By the way, I did not realize kids still had lace-up shoes!


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Comments

26 responses to “Where Are The Parents?”

  1. Nancy Naive Avatar
    Nancy Naive

    Don’t worry, Dick. While unable to tie their shoes, every last one of them knew the 4000-year old history of the world, and that CRT, whatever it is, is some kind of communism and is taught in schools.

    “Here, Honey. Don’t forget to give your teacher the banana.”

    1. killerhertz Avatar
      killerhertz

      These days the teachers give their banana to the kids. Damn groomers

      1. Nancy Naive Avatar
        Nancy Naive

        Ah, a joke. God, I hope it was anyway.

        1. killerhertz Avatar
          killerhertz

          Most definitely not. I’ve been of the mind that any teacher or adult for that adult insists that they be allowed to tell children about their personal lives and sexuality at such a young age is in fact a groomer. For the record I’ve been calling them groomers long before it became fashionable with the “Don’t Say Gay” bill in Florida.

  2. DJRippert Avatar
    DJRippert

    Any chance that the parents of these children were essential workers during the pandemic when the day care shut down and suddenly 79 year old Grandma ended up with four kids to watch and teach?

    We should all know by now that entrusting critical activities to a 79 year old person is fraught with risk.

    1. DJRippert Avatar
      DJRippert

      Apparently, even the birds see Biden as more of a statue than a president. He didn’t notice?

      https://www.the-sun.com/news/5111480/bird-poops-joe-biden-during-infrastructure-speech-today-iowa/

    2. Dick Hall-Sizemore Avatar
      Dick Hall-Sizemore

      Not all the children in this Fairfax County school or the others discussed in the article were the children of essential workers. And, even if both parents worked, essential or not, there are always weekends.

      1. VaNavVet Avatar

        Lets cut the parents a break as most have had a lot on their plates during the pandemic and have to establish priorities while doing their best.

  3. Stephen Haner Avatar
    Stephen Haner

    Good grief, Dick, have you not noticed how many parents/families are letting the schools feed their children at least twice a day, with feeding programs into the summer and maintained even in the pandemic? Huge numbers of parents have abdicated what you and I would see as basic responsibilities. Cradle to grave…

    1. Dick Hall-Sizemore Avatar
      Dick Hall-Sizemore

      The feeding programs don’t bother me. These are primarily for kids whose family incomes are strapped and who may not get sufficient nutrition.

  4. Dick, you’re right. Too many parents have outsourced the “education” of their children to schools. It’s a sad commentary that education now includes the tying of shoes and cutting along dotted lines.

  5. Ronnie Chappell Avatar
    Ronnie Chappell

    While the pandemic may have increased the number of kids who can’t use scissors, squeeze a drop of glue or follow simple instructions like:

    Stand in line.
    Wait your turn.
    Don’t throw food in the cafeteria.
    Don’t bother other children.
    Don’t talk during class unless called upon.
    Don’t use profanity.
    When asked by the teacher to do something, do it.
    Treat others with respect and they will respect you.

    For the most part, they are the product of single parent households, and they bring to school the attitudes and behaviors modeled at home. They adversely impact the education of other kids in their classrooms. And they are far more likely to fail in the classroom, be suspended or expelled, drop out of school, commit and be convicted of a crime, go to prison, become pregnant out of wedlock and become a single parent.

    Dick, it’s not that the parents are missing. It’s that they don’t know how to raise kids capable of thriving at school or don’t care.

    1. VaNavVet Avatar

      Always easy to blame everything on single parents perhaps working two jobs. Sounds like just another dog whistle.

      1. Ronnie Chappell Avatar
        Ronnie Chappell

        The outcomes are well documented. That said, good kids come out of single parent households and do well. But way too many don’t. There are too many single parent Black and white households. There is a reason that Asian kids, the vast majority of whom grow up in 2 parent households or in the midst of extended families, do far better in school.

        1. VaNavVet Avatar

          The outcomes do document poverty, bigotry, and exploitation as negatives that so many single parents have to deal with.

          1. DJRippert Avatar
            DJRippert

            There was never bigotry against Asians or exploitation of Asians? Interesting theory.

          2. VaNavVet Avatar

            Ronnie C. was the one that brought Asians into the piece and comments. My comments have been generic in this regard up until today and implicit bias with POC. Pls ask Ronnie about this theory concerning Asian bigotry.

          3. Ronnie Chappell Avatar
            Ronnie Chappell

            Kids born to single teenage moms are more likely to be poor. No doubt about it. Kids with Dads that don’t pay alimony or child support are too.

          4. VaNavVet Avatar

            There is an implicit bias that accompanies “single parent”. What comes to mind for so many are women of color living on welfare. This leads to exploitation of the “other”.

          5. Ronnie Chappell Avatar
            Ronnie Chappell

            The perception you refer to likely stems from the fact that few in the national media cover the US outside major metropolitan areas. It’s wrong. There are nearly 3 million more white single parent households than Black single parent households. https://datacenter.kidscount.org/data/tables/107-children-in-single-parent-families-by-race#detailed/1/any/false/1729,37,871,870,573,869,36,868,867,133/10,11,9,12,1,185,13/432,431

  6. Teachers did the best they could but parents were busy trying to work and teach they’re kids due to the ineffectiveness of remote learning. It was much worse for parents with children with learning disabilities. Socialization is key to many learned behaviors. You present anecdotal stories to blame parents? Especially your own childhood memories of how good it used to be. Shame on you.

  7. killerhertz Avatar
    killerhertz

    My kid is 2nd grade in a Montessori program after 1 year in public K. They were open throughout pandemic aside from the Spring 2020 lockdowns. Doing just fine and already introduced to basic algebra.

    Parents can do their part by pulling their children from government schools if they have the means.

    1. Dick Hall-Sizemore Avatar
      Dick Hall-Sizemore

      My daughter attended Montessori many years ago–preK and K. She thrived in the program. This program is on my list of potential future posts.

    2. Not having the means without charter school options leaves a lot of those families with no choice.

      1. killerhertz Avatar
        killerhertz

        Agreed. That’s why we need school choice through charter schools and ESAs. The fact that both parties can’t ram this through when there’s a clear demand for it is a signal to me that they DGAF.

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