Oceanfront Unisex Bathrooms? What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

by Kerry Dougherty

Of all the cockamamie ideas cooked up at City Hall in Virginia Beach, this may win an award.

A fat, legal award. But that’ll come later.

Right now the city is bursting with pride over its new, $650,000 5-stall unisex restroom at 20th Street.

Because let’s be honest, there’s nothing women like more than using the potty with nothing to separate them from the men doing their smelly business in the next stall but a thin metal wall.

It’ll be a haven for perverts too, because clueless parents often send their unaccompanied kids into public restrooms. Pedophiles will love the convenience of peeking through cracks at naked children.

The long washing trough is a lovely touch. So is the attendant stationed on a metal folding chair outside.

Best of all, it’s only going to cost taxpayers half a million a year to maintain!

Unisex toilets are a terrible, risky concept. It’s one thing when a restaurant with single stalls and locks on the doors makes its bathrooms accessible to both sexes. It’s quite another to force females to use toilets adjacent to men.

The Everybody’s-Welcome Johns will be open from 6 a.m. to midnight. Remember, this is 20th Street AT THE OCEANFRONT. The heart of the Resort Strip’s hairball sanctuary. Drunk girls, gang members. What a lovely cocktail.

It may be an old-school idea, but some of us believe women and girls need safe all-female spaces. To allow men in close proximity to females and children who are changing their clothes or using the bathroom is absolutely reckless.

This breathless hurry to break down barriers between the sexes that’s happening coast to coast is asking for trouble and providing an attractive nuisance for predators.

Look, the oceanfront needs more restrooms for the comfort of tourists. More showers and foot washing stations too. But unisex bathrooms are a dangerous concept and the first woman, drunk girl – or, God help us, child – assaulted in the 20th Street unisex-free-for-all is going to lawyer up and close the place down.

Rethink this, Virginia Beach. Before someone gets hurt.

Republished with permission from Kerry: Unemployed and Unedited.


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Comments

17 responses to “Oceanfront Unisex Bathrooms? What Could Possibly Go Wrong?”

  1. Stephen Haner Avatar
    Stephen Haner

    It can work another way. At a popular venue on vacation last month the ladies loo had a monster line so several women had a sudden and probably temporary conversion to “binary status.” That’s what they said when when a waiting guy in the short line made eye contact, anyway. Whatever. No “potty parity” laws there, I guess.

  2. Wahoo'74 Avatar
    Wahoo’74

    America should change our national motto from “e pluribas unum” to Forrest Gump’s “stupid is as stupid does.” Seems more appropriate given absurd decisions like this.

    1. Nancy Naive Avatar
      Nancy Naive

      p pluribas unum

    2. Stultus est sicut stultus facit?

    3. Nancy Naive Avatar
      Nancy Naive

      p pluribas unum

  3. $500,000 per year to maintain a five-stall bathroom?

    I’m not sure VDOT spends that much on a highway rest area.

  4. Nancy Naive Avatar
    Nancy Naive

    There’s a difference between immodest and indecent. Modesty is dictated by the necessity.

    https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/testing-pariss-new-public-pissoir-the-uritrottoir-wwgj9g8tv

  5. Stephen Haner Avatar
    Stephen Haner

    It can work another way. At a popular venue on vacation last month the ladies loo had a monster line so several women had a sudden and probably temporary conversion to “binary status.” That’s what they said when a waiting guy in the short line made eye contact, anyway. Whatever. No “potty parity” laws there, I guess.

    1. Nancy Naive Avatar
      Nancy Naive

      Poor Karen would faint in The City of Lights, eh? Did you happen to see the “new” pissoirs? Where the gents water the flowers?

      The gent’s loo
      https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/493da0a511a8ed4d32299b20c6a2f1fa3ddfe02f/0_258_3954_2373/master/3954.jpg?width=1125&dpr=2&s=none

      Ladies used the gutter.

      1. VaPragamtist Avatar
        VaPragamtist

        So convenient. It was a little strange using one for the first time in the middle of a highway median, but I love the concept.

        1. Nancy Naive Avatar
          Nancy Naive

          Just to be clear, in Europe. That wasn’t the I-95 median right? I mean there are lots of wildflowers along that route.

          1. VaPragamtist Avatar
            VaPragamtist

            Right, in Paris. Though I’d advocate for them in the US.

    2. Eric the half a troll Avatar
      Eric the half a troll

      That has been happening at crowded venues for decades. Surprisingly, very little right wing fear mongering until recently… because… trans…🤷‍♂️

    3. Dick Hall-Sizemore Avatar
      Dick Hall-Sizemore

      That might be why men would protest against this arrangement. Men’s restrooms seldom have a line. Instead of having access to those public restrooms in Virginia Beach, men now will have to wait in one of five lines.

      1. Nancy Naive Avatar
        Nancy Naive

        There’s another downside. Men’s rooms are far cleaner. Gentlemen never attempt “the hover”.

        “We aim to please. You aim too, please.”

  6. Nancy Naive Avatar
    Nancy Naive

    Karens of the World, who is in charge of your kid?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKW0_JuYOt0

  7. VaPragamtist Avatar
    VaPragamtist

    “Pedophiles will love the convenience of peeking through cracks at naked children”

    What’s preventing pedophiles from peeking through cracks at naked children in single-sex bathrooms?

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