A 3.6 scale earthquake rocked the Nation’s Capital Friday morning, leading prominent conservatives to say that Barack Obama’s neo-socialist spending programs are affecting the earth’s tectonic plates.
“The globe just can’t handle the trillions in upcoming debt that it is being weighed down with,” says James A. Bacon, noted aging Baby Boomer.
Another prominent deficit hawk, Groveton, says the link between profligate deficit spending and the earth’s overheated magma cannot be denied. “This is no phony-baloney global warming nonsense coming out of places like the University of Virginia, my alma mater. This is real,” he says.
Virginia Atty. Gen. Kenneth N. Cuccinelli announced that he is launching seven specific CIDs (civil investigative demands) to see if any fraud was involved in placing the epicenter of the earthquake near the Maryland village of Germantown as opposed to one in the Old Dominion.
A Cuccinelli spokesman declined comment. “We don’t comment on ongoing legal cases,” he says.
The Goozer