Well, Baconauts, I find myself in sunny Augusta, Ga. — except it’s not very sunny around 8 a.m. this morning: The town is covered with a thick fog. Anyway, I’m here to observe what has become one of the nation’s largest sporting events. At its peak, up to 150,000 people will crowd the fairways to watch a procession of middled-aged white guys — plus Tiger Woods — swing long sticks at little balls.
I’ve never played a single round of golf, and at 55 years old, I don’t intend to begin. I’m here because my wife likes golf and in a fit of madness bid on some tickets at the Collegiate school auction — and won. As ignorant as I am of the sport, I doubt I will have anything useful to say. If you want insight into the tournament, turn on the television!